Thursday, November 18, 2010

For the record

Here is why I'm thinking he may be gay.

First found porn almost 10 years ago, it was women with beautiful hair, makeup, breasts, oh, but they also have a cock!  The main theme of the clips were the person being fucked while jacking off.  I thought, hmmmm, thats odd.

Have found more sites a few years ago, guess what?  Same thing.  So does it qualify as gay porn if the person appears to be a woman, halfway?  Of all the porn, there has MAYBE been pussy once.

Recently I found the same thing again, same fucking thing.

Also in the last year he has said that he can't get erections.  He finally got a prescription from his doctor for a "helper".  Hasn't taken it once.

I know none of this is evidence, just wanted to get someones opinion.  Its been my life for so long that it's my "normal".

What do you think?


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Here it goes!

Well I'm not sure where to start, but here's the deal.  I think that the shit I'm going through, and possibly about to go through, will be difficult, and blogging about it would possibly give much needed support.

I have been married almost twenty years.  My husband is amazing and we are best friends.  Do you see where this is going?  Next month, we'll celebrate the holiday season, the end of 2010, and two years since my husband and I have had sex.

WTF?  That is the question most asked by friends.  I wish I knew the answer to that.  The lack of intimacy has been an issue for almost ten years.  I read recently that if a couple has sex less than ten times per year its considered a "non-sexual" relationship.  Wow, there's a club I didn't want to belong to.

I have blamed myself, thought I was unattractive, boring, didn't keep the house clean enough, had bad timing, thought he was having an affair, etc.

Still there is not a concrete answer as to why our marriage lacks intimacy.  There is also no confirmation as to whether or not my husband is gay.  Apparently that is a popular question online, and there are several "checklists" to consider.

Does anyone have any thoughts (short of catching him with a man or his admitting it) or semi-reliable criteria that might indicate that he is gay?

Looking forward to seeing what everyone thinks.  Thank you for your time!

Til next time,
smart ass wife